Resilience Through Connections

“In the midst of craziness and the dark,” Karey found light. When someone believes in you, you start to believe in yourself and then anything is possible. Having a support system is the key to success.

As a child, Karey experienced abuse and neglect in a household filled with alcoholism and instability. Her mother’s boyfriends set the stage for long, loud nights of violence and other unspeakable things. By 7^th grade, Karey found herself parenting her two younger siblings, protecting them from the chaos that also felt all too familiar. “I lacked a support system, and I didn’t know how to parent.” Dark days felt like they would never end. Karey left home at 15, but she persisted and graduated high school on time.

Mr. Langley, a professor at Kaplan College, connected with Karey and listened to her experiences. He wanted to help. He vulnerably shared some of his own experiences, which gave Karey hope that she wasn’t alone. Through this connection he encouraged her to seek therapy to work through her mental health challenges. “My therapist says she’ll be there for me and has always been there.” Karey grew in confidence and resilience, knowing she had people who believed in her.

Karey first learned about Head Start from a flier in the laundry room of her apartment complex. She discovered that her younger children qualified for preschool! Once enrolled, Karey said, “I realized there was so much I did not know (about parenting) that would be super helpful to know. What I knew I had learned from my mother and her boyfriends, which was very little and unhealthy.” Head Start is a leader in high quality early childhood education. Head Start teachers and staff taught Karey about parenting and child development that helped her be a better mom.

She made friends with other parents in Head Start and served on the Policy Council. With the help and encouragement of Bill Foxcroft from Idaho Head Start Association, Karey and Bill met with state legislators and Idaho’s congressional delegation where she advocated for Head Start. She found her voice and became an advocate for advocacy! Karey received Idaho Head Start’s Advocate of the Year award.

Despite setbacks, isolation, and overwhelming feelings, coupled with maladaptive coping mechanisms, Karey has persevered. She has continued to “show up and show out with confidence.” She co-chairs the Idaho Thriving Families Safer Children coalition. She is surrounded by role models, mentors, and a community of support. She now has guardianship of her niece in addition to parenting her own children. “Parenting is hard! Mental health challenges are hard! Carrying a load of stress is hard! But I choose daily to keep going. My children and myself are a reason to live.”

Her advice to everyone is, “You are not alone. You matter. Your voice and your story matters. There is always hope!”

The four building blocks of HOPE (Healthy Outcomes from Positive Experiences) are Relationships, Environments, Social and Civic Engagement, and Emotional Growth. Karey’s Relationships with people that believed in her were instrumental in her growth and healing. The safe and consistent Environment that Head Start offered primed and fueled Karey’s Social and Civic Engagement with advocacy work in her community. Karey’s parenting journey, from reflecting on her own childhood, receiving therapeutic support, learning new skills and parenting her own children including her niece and nephew has provided many opportunities for Emotional Growth. Karey’s persistence has developed into a strong sense of resilience. We are grateful for Karey’s leadership, advocacy, and vulnerability to share her story.

If you would like to learn more about HOPE, Protective Factors and organizations founded in these frameworks, want to get involved in the Strengthening Families movement, or share your story, contact the Idaho Children’s Trust Fund.