Lessons from the Mediterranean

How do we reshape our implicit bias and why is community so important?

Our work at the Idaho Children’s Trust Fund (ICTF) promotes the building blocks of HOPE (Healthy Outcomes from Positive Experiences) and the 5 Protective Factors. These frameworks are necessary for optimal brain development so individuals and communities thrive.

Recently my sister was on a search and rescue ship in the central Mediterranean. In her words-

“For almost 5 weeks the people I worked with, lived with and relaxed with, were 28 other people, mostly strangers, from all over the world. There are no errands to run, projects to work on, people to meet, trips to the store, walks in the woods, it is all suspended. While onboard your world shrinks to 200 feet of steel and the endless blue expanse of sea and sky. The satellite Wi-Fi connection was weak and spotty. Scrolling, surfing, downloading wasn’t even a possibility. For days it wasn’t even possible to send or receive emails or messages.

“There it is on the horizon. A small, overcrowded boat bobbing listlessly on the water. Can you make out the people? Who do you see in the boat? Perhaps you see people in a desperate situation and you long to care for them. Maybe you see poor, helpless, penniless people who will be a drain on social service programs. Or possibly you wonder if there are criminals and “bad people” in the boat.

Let’s look closer.

“Do you see the older looking man with the bare feet, pants too short, hunched on the side? Six year earlier, he was a highly respected government official who witnessed the murder of his family and has tried to escape Libya four times.

“Can you see the young man shivering in the cold with only a thin jacket? He was a promising university student before the violence in his home country forced him to make a choice- join the militia or flee.

“Over there do you see that man with the glasses and a distinguished look about him? He had been an engineer and professor.

“Barely visible among the crowd is a teenager traveling alone. His family saved money for years to send him to Europe hoping that he would then be able to bring the rest of them over.

“It’s hard not to see the women and children. That one is pregnant and the one over there is nursing a baby. The woman in the center with the small child next to her, left older children, her family, everything to prevent her daughter from experiencing female genital cutting like she had as a child. The woman near the back has three children of her own, plus another child she is looking after: the exhaustion and strain creasing her face.

“So remarkable! Can you imagine the strength, resilience and resourcefulness needed to flee across multiple countries, facing hunger, abuse, fatigue and uncertainty with children in tow?!

“Now, look past the dirty clothes, the bare feet, the unshaven faces. Past the haunted, far way gaze. Deeper, beyond the frightened, downcast eyes, clouded by grief and sorrow. Can you see it? Can you see the courage, and HOPE? The fire of determination, commitment to build a new successful life in a foreign land despite the hell they have endured to get this far.

“I see people with the fortitude to carry on in the face of overwhelming challenges, and inner strength to rise again after having been beaten down again and again. The resolve to be successful contributing members of society and a strength to their new countries and communities.

“What a remarkable thing that 29 people from diverse countries and backgrounds can come together united in their goal to save people crossing the Central Mediterranean. During our time we successfully lived, played and worked together to rescue 190 people and assist in the rescue of 84 others.”

One lesson I learned from her experience is that it’s easy to judge people. Without knowing peoples’ lived experiences, our brains make up stories and fill in the blanks, sometimes with worst case scenarios. This is where our implicit biases are held. When we take time to know people, slow down our thinking, suspend judgement and look for the positives, just like my sister did, we can make deep meaningful connections that build resilience.

How does this relate to child abuse prevention? A small group of 29 people from all walks of life came together on this rescue ship with a common goal and achieved a tremendous victory! Think of the endless possibilities and transformative work we can accomplish to strengthen families, communities, and systems when we collaboratively work together! Let’s bring our talents, skills, passion, and experience to this work to uplift and invigorate the movement of prevention!

I am grateful for my sister and her willingness to share lessons from the Mediterranean.

If you would like to learn more about HOPE, Protective Factors and organizations founded in these frameworks, want to get involved in the prevention movement, or share your story, contact the Idaho Children’s Trust Fund.