HOPE with Cancer

Cancer Sucks! Parenting is hard enough, but raising a child with cancer makes it that much harder.

Emily was pregnant with her second child when she found out her son, who was three at the time, was diagnosed with leukemia. She was devastated and didn’t know what to do. She reached out to her mother, who dropped everything and immediately came to comfort her. She felt encouraged knowing she would have the support of her mother through this long, unknown journey ahead. Unfortunately, after their initial visit, her mom found out she had breast cancer and had a battle of her own to face. Despite another setback, Emily was determined to make the best of a hard situation. Looking back, Emily recognizes many ways that she and her family were supported during that time.

“The first six months after his diagnosis were grueling and somewhat of a blur.”

So many doctor’s appointments, hospital visits, cancer treatments, and specialty follow-ups were stressful. It required a lot of time and coordination. A friend of Emily’s mom had been praying to know how to support Emily and her family. “She called me up one day and told me that she wanted to give me her car.” That was a huge relief to have reliable transportation for all his appointments.

“We got connected with a cancer charity and were approved for $1000 a month to cover our rent. My husband worked part of the time during his cancer treatment and went to grad school too. The housing stipend allowed us to focus our limited income on other necessities. We couldn’t have afforded to live without the generosity of the Tyler Robinson Foundation otherwise.”

During grad school the professors offered grace and understanding of their families’ situation. Flexibility with attendance was afforded to accommodate cancer treatment schedules. Deadlines for assignments were extended when emergencies required extensive travel. “The school wanted [my husband] to succeed and was willing to work with us.”

The medical team was a bright spot throughout the journey. “They were competent, kind, and caring. I knew we were in good hands, and I was glad we lived where we could access the quality of treatment he needed.” They worked with a social worker case manager who helped connect them with counseling services and other resources. “If it weren’t for Medicaid, we would have gone bankrupt before our life even started!”

There were a group of older women who sewed pediatric cancer clothing that made accessing ports easier during treatments. They made “Cancer Sucks” hats and sewed superhero capes. “What was even more helpful was that they planned my daughter’s birthday party so that I could take care of my son. Everything was so thoughtful. They really cared.”

Their church organized a meal train to ease the burden of cooking. Friends offered childcare for the new baby while Emily would take her son to treatment. They cleaned her house and were a shoulder to cry on when she felt overwhelmed. Family members stepped in to help when they could. When her son started kindergarten, the whole school wrote him encouraging notes, get well soon cards, and drew pictures. While Emily’s mom was battling breast cancer at the same time, fighting cancer together became a bonding experience for grandma and grandson. “No one fights alone,” became their family slogan.

“I don’t know how we did it, but we did. I couldn’t have done it without everyone’s help.”

Emily and her family were surrounded by an Environment of Concrete Support when they needed it. She relied on the Social Connections of family, friends, neighbors and church. She encountered many opportunities for Emotional Growth as she learned Knowledge of Parenting a child with cancer. Housing, transportation, health insurance and competent medical treatment are Protective Factors that made it possible to meet the challenges they faced. Emily is a loving and dedicated mother of three children and a model example of Resilience.

Our work at the Idaho Children’s Trust Fund (ICTF) promotes the building blocks of HOPE; Relationships, Environments, Engagement, and Emotional Growth and the five Protective Factors which are: Parental Resilience, Social Connections, Knowledge of Parenting and Child Development, Social and Emotional Competence of Children, and Concrete Support in Times of Need. These Protective Factors and building blocks of HOPE promote optimal development so children, families, and communities thrive. If you would like to learn more about HOPE, Protective Factors, want to get involved in the Strengthening Families movement, or share your story, contact the Idaho Children’s Trust Fund.